Monday, April 23, 2012

Log cabin blocks... coming along

Thanks to Subee.... and the oodles of 1.5" batik strips I had on hand, my log cabin blocks are coming along nicely.

24 blocks done so far, measuring 8.5" unfinished. 

I've set up my featherweight in the dining room so I can work on them while I watch the Ottawa hockey games with hubby.

There's no rush on this project... I just wanted to try my hand at log cabins and I'm loving them!

Roll Roll Cotton Boll is a flimsy!!

I can't believe it myself!  I worked like a madwoman - well I was angry and maybe that helped.. lol

My design wall is not large enough for this beast, so poor Joey is standing on the loveseat, trying to hold it up for me to take a picture, and even so, the top row of blocks is folded over behind, so it's still not a full shot, but close enough.

As of Friday night, I only had the rows sewn together and about 4 of the diagonal rows sewn to each other.  I finished off sewing the rows to the middle point, then started from the other end and sewed those together, and then sewed the 2 halves together.

Then, the inner border was done.

Then, I had to sew all those parallelograms into the sets needed for the top and side borders and the corners.  Unfortunately, I seemed to be short on the borders and had to add 2 more parallelograms to each one.  These pieced borders aren't perfect, but it was a good learning experience and I'll know what to keep in mind and watch out for in future ones.

I can't believe how warm this thing is, even without being sandwiched yet.  Having it draped over my lap pinning the borders on kept me warm enough I was thinking I should turn the furnace down.  Good thing I didn't cause we woke up to fresh snow this morning!

Thank you so much Bonnie for a wonderful mystery quilt.  This pattern will be in her next book coming out in July and it's not for the faint of heart, but it's well worth the effort and was a great learning experience for me. 

How I'm going to manage to sandwich this properly and quilt it is still being decided.  I think I'm going to use the board method to sandwich it.... and That Man Quilts had some beautiful pictures of how he quilted his... I might have to try to duplicate some of those ideas.

Then I can get back to her Orca Bay mystery.  :)

I also took pictures of my snowmen placemats.  I've had these done for a while but hadn't photographed them yet.

Aren't they cute?  There are 4 of them in total.  This project was really good for me to practice my applique skills.  I have another pattern with mittens to do.  Maybe I'll have those done for next christmas.. lol

I'm also going to get a picture soon of the dresden plate table runner I completed for my glass coffee table.  I used a Stonehenge charm pack and I love the fabrics.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Rant - feeling sorry for myself

I know this is not "quilt related", but it's my blog and I have to voice this somewhere, get it off my chest.

For the past almost 4 months we've been housing a boy/young man who knew Jim when he was younger and looks up to Jim as a father figure.  In doing so, we thought we'd be giving him a better chance at getting his life together in a more stable environment than he came from.

A little over a month after he joined our household, his new girlfriend came for a visit, a visit that has turned into almost 3 months.  They've known each other for less than 4 months (started chatting on the net), and then basically "shacked up" in our house after maybe a month and a half - never meeting each other in person previous to that.

Neither one has their high school diplomas, both have very limited work experience, and both are collecting welfare.  In the past few weeks they've been looking for a place to live because we honestly can't afford to continue to house them, even with the meager amount they contribute to the rent/food/utilities expenses - which have significantly increased since they have been here.

But that's the way my household, even before Jim came into my life has been.  I've always helped people when I can, in whatever way I can, hoping it will help get them back on their feet.  That's what friends are for.  And I continue to do this, even though I've been burned so many times in the past.

This morning I was informed that they're pregnant.  They are both under 25, she being closer to 20.  Now not only can they not support themselves, but in about 7 months they are going to have a baby to feed, diaper and raise.

I'm trying to be happy for them, a baby is a wondrous thing, no matter who it is. 

But I can't help but think of how much (for 20 years) I've wanted a baby.  And how much I see myself as a failure as a woman for not yet getting pregnant.  The five years Jim and I have been together, it's one thing we both want, yet hasn't happened.  And my time is growing short... I'll be 45 this coming September... well past the age, according to statistics to get pregnant and have a healthy baby.

I guess my biggest rant is that it's not fair!  Why would life give these two completely unprepared and seriously irresponsible people the opportunity to have a child, when it's continually denied me to have that opportunity?

It just feels like life keeps slapping me in the face with this.  One of my other girlfriends who met her significant other around the same time Jim and I met, got pregnant herself last year and has given birth to a beautiful baby girl.

We've looked into the local fertility clinic and of course every procedure has a fee, nothing is covered by our health care system. The most unfortunate part is that we've heard there is close to a one year waiting list to get into their system. I don't yet know if that includes the basic tests to see if we're even fertile, we haven't investigated that far yet.

I'm just beside myself with pity and confusion. 

Maybe it's because I want it so much that it won't happen.  But that doesn't make sense.  Everything I've learned over the years is that if you want something bad enough, and focus on it strongly enough, eventually it will happen.  Power of positive thinking right? 

Well, for some reason it's not working for me :( 

End of rant.... I can continue my crying in my sewing room, away from them, so they don't have to see how disappointed I am with the hand life has dealt me... and try to be productive in other ways.

I promise to post something "quilty" before the end of the weekend.

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